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Is 3 months too soon to start dating again

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We also have a chat, just for us. You first have to register here, then click on this link and join okchat. Be sure to use your Reddit username so other users can recognize you! How soon is too soon Is 3 months too soon to start dating again start dating again? I'm wondering what you guys think about how soon is too soon to start dating after a breakup.

I just got out of a month long relationship. She was a nice girl and all, we connected on several levels, but we had some glaring incompatibilities that meant regular unhappiness for both of us. I finally broke up with her a week ago, but I've been feeling this way for the past 6 months.

Now I've always thought that people need time to chill and process things after a breakup, that it's good to just have some time alone. But now that it's over, I feel ready to go!

"Don't start dating again after...

I want to start dating, and meeting people! I don't care if I have a string of short relationships or land myself into another long-term relationship, I just want to get out there and have fun! I've been ready to leave the relationship for a long time now; I've been checked out for a while but didn't leave the building.

I must confess that - and if you want to whip out your pitchforks, now's the time - I've had an incomplete OKC profile for about a month now.

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I haven't been contacting anybody or anything, but I filled out some info and answered questions, creeped some profiles. Now if you think I'm an ass, that's fine - you're right. I needed an extra kick - some reassurance, while I was mired in unhappiness, that if we broke up, I'll be fine.

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That there are other girls out there who are interesting and could be compatible with me. I had no intention of cheating, of contacting or meeting anyone, and I didn't.

Though if some of you consider this a form of emotional cheating, I can't argue with that, but please don't let that color your advice too much. It's not something I like or want to admit. I think having done that contributes to my readiness to start dating. There are a couple of women on there that, if I had a real profile and had been single, I would have messaged by now.

Their emotions were draining away...

Originally my plan was to shut down the profile for a while and give it some time. But I don't feel like I'm grieving. I don't feel sad, I don't miss her. I want to start dating. I know the common advice, which I usually agree with, is to wait. So that holds me back. Also that I probably would be judged if it got out that I started dating right after a nearly 2-year relationship ended. I want to wait, and chill out for a bit - but at the same time, I don't want to miss out on meeting a few women on there right now that interest me.

OkCupid). submitted 3 years ago...

Wait until the breakup isn't the first thing that comes to mind when asked about your romantic life. I was in a 5 year relationship and started dating again about 2 months after it ended.

My first few dates were utter crap because, although I was VERY over my ex, I was immediately confronted with the fact I was used to him- the way we vibed, connected, joked, bantered- and it was mirrored in the way I was interacting with my dates. It took me a little while to consciously recognize that and change it. Not saying that you'll have the same issue, but just be aware that although you feel really ready right now, you may realize that you're not actually ready in practice, or don't yield results that correlate to your present level of enthusiasm, Is 3 months too soon to start dating again that's ok.

Go with the zeal you feel for meeting someone new and let that carry you through any potential, initial bumpiness.

Want to add to the...

No sense in waiting simply because you're worried of how others will perceive your lack of wait time. It's your dating life, not anyone else's. You'll know when you're ready to hop back in the pool. I think this is great advice. Go on a few dates and get the jitters out. That way when you're more ready, you'll be on your game.

It will also tell you whether you are ready or not. You make great points. That's totally true; it might be jarring to try to connect with someone different after having the same repoire with one person for a long time.

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This point struck home: I think that's a great way to go. I've been there before so I know what a roller coaster it can be. We're here for you! It dragged on to long. As always there's more to the story. She was very attached and dependent. I had constant doubts about whether breaking up would be the right decision because I knew she didn't want to.

We were fighting regularly and had some important differences. And the account was for motivation, not a backup plan.

You don't have to believe me, but I fully expected to delete it and stay single for a long while. Such a condescending post.

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Having hobbies to define oneself is important, but to pretend that they can fill the void of a companion is exactly the kind of bullshit adults try to feed other adults.

I didn't say anything about hobbies. There are other things that people can do with themselves that don't involve hobbies. Things like self-reflection, which I suppose is probably "adult bullshit. It's also concerning to me when someone starts auditioning new partners before they've actually dismissed the current one. These aren't things that are just bad for OP, they're bad for the people he dates too.

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He recognized that he was treating his partner badly and I think he should figure out why he thought that was OK before going Is 3 months too soon to start dating again to treat his next partner the same way, beyond coming up with easy justifications.

No such thing as too soon IMHO. It all depends on how you are feeling. If you are ready for it, the next day is fine. There is no official or unofficial grieving period. Go on a date, or more than one. If it doesn't feel right, stop. It's okay to change your mind. I'm in a similar boat, so I can relate to you. It's been a few weeks and I'm already dating, but I'm just looking for a hookup. Even that is probably a bad idea, but I'm pursuing it anyway. Tinder has been better for me than OKC.

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Don't rush into a serious relationship, and be completely honest about where you're at in life with any woman you meet - that's my best advice. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. Log in or sign up in seconds. Submit a new link. Submit a new text post. Blur out the faces of anyone who isn't you. Censor any name that is not yours.

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You can post your own profile, but you cannot post anyone else's without moderator's permission. Submit screenshot links to your profile so you get maximum views, as not everyone has your particular dating app.

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