You will fail from time to time, and certainly more than the average person. The cost of confronting your limitations, of course, is your sense of confidence, the one quality we need to succeed and risk losing when we fail.
Understanding how to restore confidence when it dips is an essential skill, and it depends on three core components: By working within those three domains, we can learn to rebuild and sustain confidence through its natural ebbs and flow.
Reframing our failures as growth opportunities allows us to expand the knowledge that underpins confidence. And refusing to How do i get my confidence back while celebrating small wins feeds the life experience that underlies true and lasting confidence. How to restore your confidence when it takes a hit — in an authentic, meaningful, and lasting way. Author AJ Jacobs is a great example of that principle.
In an old piece, he writes openly about working amidst his despair over a particularly heavy book project:. And after a couple of hours, it worked. My mind would catch up with my actions. I would start to feel optimistic. A study from Harvard, published in Psychological Scienceshows that body language can influence how confident you feel, as Amy Cuddy highlights in this TED talk.
As we teach here at AOC, the body follows the mind, and the mind follows the body. Once we trick ourselves into going through the motions, our true selves — that is, our confident selves — take over. So an important component of restoring confidence is allowing ourselves the time and energy to tend to our wounds. Remember, vulnerability is the most profound form of strength. A professional, personal, or creative setback will take time to properly process.
Your wounds How do i get my confidence back not fully heal for some time or ever, in some casesbut they will eventually become more bearable. More importantly, if you stay in the game, those wounds will morph into something more profound: As Andrew Solomon helped us realize, the worst moments in our lives can make us who we are. Spending time with loved ones is important.
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The people you care about can lend an ear and empathize when you need it most. Discussing your challenges and processing your feelings is a highly therapeutic process in the right company. Friends, accountability partners, family and significant others are excellent partners for that conversation.
Travel is also a powerful way to heal. Sometimes, getting out of your immediate surroundings even for a day How do i get my confidence back will give you the space and clarity to reflect. It can also remind you how vast and exciting and significant the world is, which is easy to forget when your confidence dips.
Journaling is another important process. Self-reflection in whatever form gives us the time and perspective to process events as they unfold. Writing them down gives them a degree of objectivity and safety, and helps us realize that our wounds are not always as deep as they seem. Journaling also creates a record of your growth for you to revisit, so you can track your wins along the way. The entire process is both therapeutic and motivational.
But more important than how you heal is that you heal — that you allow yourself to authentically process your feelings, accept them, and forge ahead.
Ignoring a blow to your confidence is just as dangerous as overindulging in self pity. Recognize the urge to either repress or sulk, which are really two different ways of avoiding action. In fact, you can think of those two extremes as desirable forms of quitting! Like all good therapy, the goal How do i get my confidence back is to get back to the business of being you — to the process of building your confidence by checking in with yourself, staying in the game, reframing your setbacks, and remembering that beautiful paradox: I just want to be sure you learned the right lessons.
The price of failure is a lesson learned with pain. These setbacks can keep you on the sidelines, make you feel defeated, and brand you as a failure. Or you can choose to see these moments as an opportunity to learn, become better, and rebuild for the future. The rest of the story is what you choose to learn and do by seeing the situation differently.
How you process those failures is up to you. There are few things as immediately gratifying as quitting. When you quit a difficult project or avoid taking a risk, a sense of relief replaces a sense of dread. You can remain the same. You get to enjoy a temporary refuge from the stress, anxiety, and frustration of confronting your limitations. But quitting has long-term consequences that can far outweigh the immediate rewards.
It also keeps you stationary and stagnant, and denies you the satisfaction of progress, which is the currency of How do i get my confidence back. The key is to stay in the game.
That idea has kept some of the greatest artists and entrepreneurs alive and engaged with their work. One solution is to use a simple accountability system that discourages you from dropping out.