Software developer Pieter Hintjens has been diagnosed with terminal cancer at the age of He will be opting to end his own suffering through euthanasia, which has been legal in Belgium since He has three children, aged twelve, nine and five.
In a final article on his website, he has outlined a protocol for dyingincluding these thoughts on how to have a conversation with someone you know is going to die. Above all, do not call and then cry on the phone.
If you feel weepy, cut the phone, wait ten minutes, then call back. Tears are fine, yet for Bob, the threat of self-pity looms darker than anything. He also participated in a lengthy discussion thread on the issues raised on Hacker News.
This extract of his blog post was republished on theguardian. You must have hope, you must fight! I explained softly that you cannot argue with facts. Death is not an opinion. Being angry or sad at facts is a waste of time. False hope is not a medicine.
Even if there was a miracle cure, the cost and stress to others of seeking it is such a selfish and disproportionate act. With, as we know, lottery-style chances of success.
We live, we die. And if not, just do not go there.
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Engage in slow questioning. He either wants people close to him, physically, or interesting stuff.
Here are the things that Alice can talk about that will make Bob happy: Stories of old adventures they had together. Oh boy, yes I do… it was awesome!
Bob, stuck in his bed, is probably obsessed by the rituals of care, the staff, the medicines, and above all, his disease. Helping Bob with technical details.
Sorting out a life is complex and needs many hands and minds. Bob too has obligations under this protocol. They are, at least: If you are going to be gloomy and depressed, Alice will be miserable every time she talks to you. Obviously, put your affairs in order.
For family, that is not possible. Remove all stress and cost that you can.
For example Belgium permits euthanasia. Hope is not medicine, as I explained. Assume the brutal worst.
When my oncologist saw my scan she immediately called me and told me, in her opinion, it was cancer. In both lungs, all over the place. I put the phone down, and told the children.
The next day I told their schools to expect the worst, then my lawyer, then my notary. Ten days later the biopsies confirmed it.
That gave us ten more days of grieving and time to prepare. Be honest and transparent with others. There is no shame in dying, it is not a failure.
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show entitled, The Long Goodbye, about a man named Barry Peterson whose wife, Jan. I was shocked to learn that approximately 25 percent of men leave their wife when they first learn of her cancer diagnosis, and 70 percent of.