Now I feel more than ready to date, and ultimately marry again. The reality is that the only person I've had sex with since my wife died is myself, and I haven't been on any Is there a hookup site for widows and widowers dates because I don't meet available women of the right age.
Yes, I've tried online dating sites — though I hate the idea of anything that artificial and pressured. You hear these statistics about millions of single women, but where are they? Since my wife's death, social invitations have dwindled, not increased, and they are all from couples who don't "set me up", in best Hollywood style.
I feel incredibly stuck, and a lonely future looms. You and your boys would be manning the barricades in no time at all. You'd be drowned in a tsunami of "single ladies" eager to check out your assets. There's nothing my sex enjoys more than a sad story; couple that with the fact that you're available, have near-grown children and are actively seeking a relationship, and quite honestly you should be swatting us off.
Which leads me to wonder what you're doing wrong thus far.
I imagine that four years could slip by quite easily in a blur of grief and the responsibilities of steering two boys through their teenage years in the shadow of that bereavement. Bringing up kids alone is no mean feat.
It's easy for me to say, but you really do need to get out more. I may be as outmoded as the corset, but to me online dating doesn't illustrate the most enthusiastic of approaches to engaging with the opposite sex. Cyberspace is not the best location for relearning the intricacies of dating. In most cases modern technology has set back the subtlety of human interchange a few hundred years.
Express messaging like "cw2cu" hardly represents a high point of communication. Not that "dating" should be your priority.
How about some day-to-day interaction before you start getting all doe-eyed on the opposite sex? Surely there must be women at work, at the gym, on the train with whom a conversation, a social outing, a walk is not out of the question?