More Relationship Problem Advice - Rebounding from a Broken Relationship

By Cheryl Pierce

If you're searching the web looking for relationship problem advice, you might want to read further. How often have you seen one of your friends break up with a long-term partner only to find, the very next week, somebody who was plainly all wrong for them? It’s one of the most common after effects of the end of relationships: rebound dating. Rebounding from a broken relationship can cause some REAL problems.

The idea of rebound relationships is so impressed into the way we think about dating that it just seems instinctive to look for one after a breakup. There’s a lot to be said for getting “back in the saddle,” choosing a partner when your mind is clouded usually does more harm than good overall. If you want to get over your ex fast, there are better ways to do it.

Band-Aid relationships: rebound mindset

The 1st step to keeping yourself from doing something you’ll regret is to take an honest look at what you’re feeling and understand how those feelings can direct you places you’d rather not go. A lot of times we just miss the companionship and look for someone to fill the gap in our schedule and distract us from the fact that our heart’s just been broken. In that case, make a point of finding a social time-filler that doesn’t require romance.

Preserve your standards

The best thing you can do to avert getting involved with someone who’s all wrong for you is stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safety buffer. If the person you’re thinking about dating is less kind, less intelligent, less anything that you’d ordinarily want, stay away. The people don’t make for good relationships, rebound or otherwise.

Beware of the handiest person

When we look for someone to rebound with, we need someone fast. We don’t have time to “waste” searching for someone we really click with, so we tend to latch on to someone we already know and have at least some compatibility with. It might be a close friend, a co-worker, even someone who works at the grocery store down the street. If you find yourself falling for someone you’ve never been the least bit attracted to before, stop and think about what’s actually going on here.

Choose time for yourself

Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and create some new friends (that’s “friends,” not “lovers.” There’s a difference.) Get involved in something you’ve forever wanted to do but never had time for. Whatsoever you do, don’t sit around pining for your ex or scouring the bookstore shelves for self help books.

Be gentle with yourself.

Even if your not sobbing into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make you feel a little bummed out and low on get-up-and-go. Take that into account and try not to initiate any major projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself to some time out to do something you relish.

Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a disaster. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a fun fling. If you do determine to get involved with someone after a breakup, though, make sure you’ve taken a little time off by yourself and you’re not lowering your standards. While we can't always forestall broken relationships: rebound dates gone wrong are easy to avoid.

Get more Relationship Problem Advice by viewing our Free Video Rebounding After a Broken Relationship